VS Holiday Song

to the tune of "jingle bells"

holiday's getting near
and i'm just thinking 'bout rest
but men are thinking about beer
and women think about sex
it's true that we sell more
than pink pleather mini skirts
but the average broad who walks in the store
just wants it where it hurts. oh!

chorus:
monday's hell, tuesday's hell
when will the holidays end?
wednesday's hell, thursday's hell
teeny boppers setting trends. oh!
friday's hell, saturday's hell
if you want to dress like a whore
crotchless panties, and nippleless bras
and you betcha we've got more!

there's a wench who wants some bling
so get her sweats from PINK
she's got a 4-carat ring
doesn't ever have to think.
her issue of right and wrong
in her grossly privileged life
is whether or not that slutty little thong
will make her a slutty little wife. oh!
(chorus)

SLT* as a whole
was made to show more skin
and encourage playing a role
french maid? yes, you'll fit right in!
very sexy makes men roar
with animal print and lace
and a tacky gold ring at your back door
so he can feel like an ace! oh!
(chorus)

now i want to make it clear
i don't hate our clientele
only when they call me "dear"
then i wish they'd go to hell.
or when they like to treat
us like servants of some kind,
then i want to knock 'em on their feet:
"are you out of your freakin' mind?" oh!
(chorus)

as you can see, retail has sucked out my soul.