Electronic Leash

my family has been overseas for the last few weeks (or months or years, depending on the family member) and today, the loneliness struck me like my cat head-butting a pillow...which is to say, not very hard, but it sure was fun to watch.

there is a sex in the city episode where maranda torments herself with the idea of dying of an accident alone in her apartment, with no one to find her until weeks later, and of no one to feed her cat. today i felt empathy with that fear, NEVERMIND the complete lack of logic behind it---i don't live alone, i have classmates and work colleagues, and my cat has an automatic feeder with 3 lbs of food just in case.

in all seriousness, what brought this to my attention was the fact that my land-line phone has not rung in 4 weeks or so, and my voicemail and answering machine are not flooded with messages beseeching an ingrate (me) to call a worried, doting mother (mom). by now there would be at least 20 messages and infinite number of calls, given that if my mother does not speak to me for 48 hours she panicks. she imagines gruesome scenarios and calls me, and my best friends, EVERY HALF HOUR...until the constant ringtones---rather like aural chinese water torture---wears me down into obedience. i used to dread the persistent repetition of the first eight bars of pachelbel's canon (my fault; i really should change that ring), but now, it would be music to my ears (HA! ok, i am officially ashamed. so ashamed that here ends this post).