Egg humor

i'll be honest: i was only looking for ostrich egg recipes (1 ostrich egg = 22-24 chicken eggs) when i chanced upon these. but they were too good not to share.
the premise is that a lot of classic recipes named after musicians (anything tetrazzini, rossini, melba, for example) were centered around eggs. eggs berlioz. eggs bizet. eggs meyerbeer. real recipes that you can look up and actually make. but then it was noted that 20th century composers never make the list.....

Eggs Carter: Break an egg into a pan with a multitude of other ingredients, and place on the stove. Continually and simultaneously vary both the temperature and the cooking time. The dish is done when the aggregate intervals of the other ingredients allegorically crush the individuality of the egg.

Eggs Partch: Build your own oven. Calibrate both the thermostat and the timer to non-Western scales of your own invention. Then bake the eggs at 943 degrees for 17,000 minutes, or until the yolks are set. Top each egg with a slice of peyote.

Eggs Strauss: Give an egg to a singer. Cover with the orchestra.

Eggs Reich: Heat two pans to slightly different temperatures. Start frying two eggs, one in each pan, at the same time. As each egg is done, take it out and put in another one. Breakfast is over when the pans are back in phase.

Eggs Cage: Heat up your frying pan. Turn it off. Think about what not eating eggs tastes like.

Eggs Philip Glass: Would it get some eggs for the omelet. And it could get for it is. It could get the frying pan for these sous chefs. And it could be were it is. It could Emeril it could be Emeril it could be very fresh and clean. It could be a pancake

Eggs Mahler: Obtain 432 eggs. Claim you have a thousand. Cook as many of the eggs as time permits. Invite people over. When they've had enough eggs, give them some more eggs. This really only needs to be done about once every twelve years.

Eggs Babbitt: Insist that people would find your licorice, peanut butter and pocket lint omelet absolutely delicious if they only had been to advanced culinary school and "understood" it.

Eggs Satie: break an egg into a large glass of cognac. Repeat 841 times.

Eggs Boulez: Arrange a row of eggs; multiply the first three eggs by the second two eggs. Add butter and whip to a soupy but opaque consistency. By the way, cooking eggs any other way makes you inutile.

all i can say is: HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHA!